Alberta's going to the dogs

The loyal scribbler has words, mostly the Premier's words. He's such a good boy.

This week, the Premier is demanding the Prime Minister install a “Border Czar”.

Maybe next week she’ll champion a “Trade Emperor”, or a “Foreign Relations Khan.”

The dutiful scribe says if the Big Dog wants Canada to be serious about the border, surely this will do the trick.

The Premier, who admits she is incapable of discerning fact from fiction, is acting on information she “gathered” while making the rounds at republican-packed galas.

They say that if you want a friend in Washington, you should get a dog.

The Premier’s probably too reliant on the one she has at home.

She says it’s a Team Canada response to put retaliatory tariffs on orange juice rather than resources the U.S. actually needs

Almost like she wants Canadians to chase their tails while tariffs, if they come, drag out even longer.

She thinks the President will come through and give her former bosses in the oil industry a carve-out on tariffs.

The American Petroleum Institute if lobbying for a carve out. They say the President is “smart” and he knows how the economics of his country work.

Even though he thinks tariffs won’t affect the economics of his country.

He isn’t serious about forcing Canada to become a state, the Premier says.

Even though he’s said it over, and over, and over again.

And still, certain columnists are begging for scraps the Premier throws their way.

The same Premier, who said, “we have to make sure, in a world where we care about science, that all voices are heard; that’s what science is.”

The same one who said unvaccinated Canadians are “the most discriminated-against group (she’s) ever witnessed in (her) lifetime.”

And, my personal favourite, “if anyone is (spreading chemtrails over Alberta) it’s the U.S. Department of Defense.”

That’s the person we’re hoping has more than just dog whistles.

That one.

I get why the old boy is still padding along behind her — his sniffer is out, and he doesn’t hunt anymore.

There’s no reason for the rest of us to be led around by the nose.

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